A "NEW" New Year's

Resolution

1. I resolve to accept myself unconditionally. I devote myself to accepting the contrasts, imperfections, struggles, successes, stupidity, selfishness and brilliance inside of me because all the criticism has lead to unhappiness resulting in no less evidence of my humanness despite the efforts. I will remind myself that others experience these human traits in equal measure.

2. I resolve to remember Weight Loss Programs don't work for me. When I see tv commercials with celebrities making a living with their "atypical" weight loss, I will remember that the majority of weight loss is regained and then some, as demonstrated by watching myself, my family and friends yo-yoing. About 95% of people regain their weight loss plus an average of 8lbs. I relish the release of body and food preoccupation that comes with giving up this fantasy.

3. I resolve to take care of my health now and not wait until I am the unrealistic body size I think I should be to be healthy. I will balance more enjoyable physical activity, taking vitamins, attending to my anxiety and depression, practicing nutrition, going to the doctor and general maintenance of my body, despite my size.

4. I resolve to feed myself with what I am really hungry for. Instead of the high volumes of food I've used in the past, I will offer myself heaping portions of solitude, mutual social relationships, spiritual practice, fun, stimulation, affection and emotional expression.

5. I resolve to remember that I am now and always have been bigger than my body. My physical form is one aspect of who I am, not me. It will change over time and does not dictate my happiness, future prospects, love life, misery or mistreatment unless I assign that power to it in my mind. It is not the thing people will remember me for when I am dead and gone. Instead of obsessive preoccupation, I prefer to be present with my life and loved ones because that is what I value and what I want to be remembered for in the future.

6. I resolve to begin living my life now. I do not have to wait until I am some ideal weight to date, vacation, be willing to displease others, have enjoyable sex, hike, go to school, assert myself on the job, say no, paint etc.. We are the only advocates we have and I have a responsibility to live the life I have been given to it's potential. I can't imagine being at the end of my life knowing I have waited to live and now it's over (and that I never did get to my ideal weight)?

12 Warning Signs of Recovery

1. You forget the ice cream in the freezer and it actually has a gummy film on it.

2. You get bored and annoyed with obsessive discussions about hating our bodies and the need to diet, have surgery or exercise away the problem areas.

3. The anxiety and dread you have before a family or social gathering are about the issues, not the food and body issues.

4. You accidentally lose weight and don't get all that excited about it.

5. Food tastes very, very good and you don't chase it with guilt.

6. You start filling your life with satisfying people, activities and thoughts instead of your tummy with unsatisfying food.

7. You recognize your opinions, needs, likes and dislikes and begin honoring them (even if it displeases others).

8. You realize that you are and have always been more than your body.

9. Nutritious foods and a variety of movement begin to naturally appeal to you.

10. You don't pay too much attention to promises of diets and know that a thinner body won't make you happy.

11.You realize that you aren't able to eat your problems away and know that when the chocolate is gone, you will have to deal with it, as well as the yuck of the binge.

12. It becomes difficult to overeat and not be aware of it, as well as the issue that is related to it.

Slow go, moving to North Carolian

I am now settled in downtown Raleigh and getting adjusted. I will be sitting for the NCSW board exam within the next three months and hope to have my practice space, phone number and program up and running by January of 2010. Wish me luck with my studies.

Thank you to all my wonderful clients who have expressed gratitude, sadness and well wishes as I have made the difficult decision to move. All of you are on my mind and in my heart as I settle in to my new home.

12 Reasons to Thank My Eating Disorder

12 Reasons to Thank my Eating Disorder
This list is a collection of examples from clients using an exercise in the Healing Your Relationship With Food program.

1. Thank you for being consistent, predictable, reliable, loyal and always available when I am in need, unlike other relationships in my life.

2. Thank you for giving me something I can control. Even though it's painful, it is a pain I know.

3. Thank you for providing me privacy through preoccupation, secret rituals, rules only for me, purging and binging. Without you as a privacy boundary, I would be gobbled up by the needs of others and lose even more of myself.

4. Thank you for helping me feel better about myself through secretly being selfish, critical and superior toward others while deep down hating myself.

5. Thank you for helping me control something in my life when my emotions and everything around me feels out of control.

6. Thank you for helping me secretly express anger toward others, resentment about pressures, and resistance to the expectation to be perfect.

7. Thank you for keeping my secret (at least for a while) that I am weak, needy, desperate and out of control, while pretending to have it all together on the outside.

8. Thank you for changing my neurobiochemestry so my anxiety and depression are relieved if only for a short time.

9. Thank you for giving me relief from being the super cute, responsible, caring, smart, driven, accomplished, reliable, perfect person I expect from myself by reminding me that I'm messed up and imperfect somewhere (even if no one else knows).

10. Thank you for allowing me to take in good, if only for a while, until I purge, exercise, take diuretics, and/or use self-ridicule to give it back. I believe I don't deserve good.

11. Thank you for giving me something miserable to focus on with a logical fix instead of focusing on real problems that overwhelm me and don't have logical fixes.

12. Thank you for creating a barrier from unsolicited sexual attention, an excuse not to get physically close to others and help control my lack of sexual boundaries when I am too afraid and unskilled to cope with these issues myself.

It is crucial to understand that your relationship with food is based on a long-standing intimacy. It needs to be acknowledged as a functional means of coping with life in order to renegotiate it . It does no good to pretend that the eating disorder is all bad and you need to banish it forever. You will likely panic and judge yourself mercilessly when you inevitably run back into it's arms. This is a long good-bye with a significant other, not a surgical removal. Take some time and comment about any reactions and any items not listed here.

Hi and Welcome to my blog. I hope to hear from anyone with ideas, opinions or suggestions related to healing from anorexia, bulimia, compulsive overeating , binge eating disorder and all other eating disorders.

What are people's thoughts about all the buzz regarding Kelly Clarkson's weight when she appeared last week on American Idol to perform? I wondered if there wasn't more attention paid to her pants size than to her incredible vocal talent. Hasn't she battled with the pressure to be thinner? Maybe her natural size (average American size by the way) is a victory against all that pressure. I think we could celebrate her first for the gifts she offers and secondly celebrate her willingness to be her own size despite the pressure.